midterms, madness, and a melodramatic outlook

Let me just preface this post in stating that the first few paragraphs makes me sound like a whiny, stubborn asshole. I'm okay with that - the story has a good meaning behind it.

Well, leave it to yours truly to completely disregard others situations for his own. I'm not sure if the realization came between being called a liar and fake by a girl that was genuinely interested in me whom I didn't give the time of day for over two years, or when I almost single-handedly ruined a friend's relationship. It's all become pretty murky.

I was sitting in the library around 1:30am this morning trying to cram more information about scottish nationalism in my head, but there were so many other emotions and thoughts swirling around it was like a wet sponge that inevitably wouldn't be able to soak up any more school information with it being completely saturated with the ridiculousness life has become lately.

Dating and I have never been the greatest of friends - and now I know why. Blown off by two separate girls that I was foolhardy enough to think I had somewhat of a "connection" with just doesn't seem to rationalize the effort. I'm not saying that these responses weren't warranted given the certain circumstances regarding each lady, but honestly, to all women out there - it's fucking dinner. If you can't (or don't want to) deal with my company for an hour or two, then I'd rather you get up and leave than give a false, or even worse, fake sense of interest.

Karma is a huge bitch, isn't it? Taking something for granted and playing with peoples emotions is an asshole thing to do - even if you don't know you're doing it. The same goes for you being the reason two separate couples are having disputes is even more pathetic.

This isn't a "boo hoo, look at me pity party." This is a wake the fuck up and quit meddling in others lives just to entertain your own whims.

In other life news, I was going to be going to milwaukee to visit said friend listed before this weekend for spring break. We'll see if that happens. I am, though excited for next weekend, where I will be reunited with all the guys in andrew's wedding (minus troy, because Savannah blows and has to be a gazillion miles away) for tux fitting. Should be interesting.

I guess my ending comments are going to relate to something I tend to see every time I'm driving to work. Around 4-5:30, (depending when I have to go in to work) I literally have seen the same man standing on the side of the road in the same general vicinity. It was a bit leery at first, but the more I paid attention, I noticed that he was, in fact walking slowly in the direction I was coming from. I'm assuming he had just gotten off work, and was on his way home. The part that really strikes me is that every time, without fail he is smiling and waving at every single car that passes. It doesn't seem to matter how long it takes him to travel those 3 blocks along that road, but the most important thing is for him to say hello to everyone that crosses his path. I've come to make the assumption that the man is most likely a little bit slow or handicapped.

Listening to slow music, feeling sorry for myself and being downright pessimistic, this man was able to make me laugh and just smile. It was raining and below 30 degrees out, and he was still there, making sure I knew he wanted to me to have a good day. I thought to myself, "How unselfish is that? That's incredible" and immediately got me thinking about how selfish I've been lately, and what I needed to do to quit being so ridiculously pessimistic and self-loathing, and just have a sense of selflessness towards others. It was a really cool feeling.

Thanks side-of-road-guy, you did what you were trying to do - you made my day.